Exercise???? Exercise!!!! Exercise.

Exercise????

My husband and I have been on this journey of getting healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually for exactly six months and have definitely experienced highs and lows along the way. In the beginning I had loads of questions regarding exercise. I shared with you all in my blog post “Finding the path…to regular exercise” some of the history behind me and the dreaded “E” word. So when approaching exercise in September 2011 I battled physically through limitations due to the infections in my lungs and being morbidly obese at almost 300 lbs. I also battled emotionally through a life history not being athletic, shame from trying in the past and giving up, and shame from being overweight in the first place. Somehow I functioned by an irrational belief that everyone else in the world knew exactly what to do at the gym and that everyone would be looking at me with judgment and criticism. In the past I would have allowed these limitations, insecurities, and questions to ultimately cause me to give up yet again but not this time!

Exercise!!!!

My husband, my personal trainer, and several wonderfully supportive friends have really been an amazing asset as I am learning all about exercise for the first time ever! After about two solid months of training, exploring the gym, trying different activities, and learning about the muscles in my body I have gained a huge amount of confidence. By this time God had been really working on my heart and attitude about this exercise thing. I had a revelation that Exercise is NOT Punishment but is part of God’s perfect plan for our overall physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Have you ever thought about that? Exercise was divinely inspired! Wow! It still rocks my world to think that the God of all creation intricately designed our bodies to function at their maximum potential only as worship him through exercise, eating healthy, getting plenty of water, and appropriate rest. Wow! It honors God when I exercise, mind blowing!

It was fun at Christmas to visit Ohio and join a gym for only the two weeks we were there. This may seem strange but we were so committed to exercise and didn’t want to fall out of our routine while traveling. I wondered if my confidence would translate in this new environment and it did! I wasn’t intimidated by the “regular” muscle men types that love to mark their territory and get annoyed with new comers. I felt comfortable using unfamiliar machines with the general knowledge that I’ve gained. I was able to modify our workouts based on the equipment available at this facility which was quite different from our gym in Dallas. I even taught my mom two of the work out routines my trainer developed for us. Let’s just say my exercise enthusiasm & momentum could not be stopped, I was a leaner, meaner exercise machine!

Exercise.

So if you’ve been following my story you know what comes next. Immediately after our holiday trip to Ohio I got sick again, Bronchitis Ugh! Since I was released from bed rest in last August 2011 with the fungus infection in my lungs, I’ve had bronchitis 3 times in five months. (September 2011 – January 2012) Each time I was put on bed rest for at least 3 weeks, had to take oral and inhaled steroids along with a bunch of other meds, and did up to 4 breathing treatments daily. Adding that up it is 19 weeks of bed rest since June. Let me just tell you that continually takes a toll on me physically and emotionally and it would be very easy to lose whatever exercise momentum I have built up with that fighting against me. I mean let’s be honest I have built a routine of exercise avoidance for 35 years and with only 6 solid months under my belt I think the odds are definitely against me if I was a betting girl ;)

However, I’m a firm believer that God uses everything for His glory and definitely has a purpose & lesson in everything. I think my lesson through all the ups and downs of illness regarding exercise has been that I need to Exercise Period. As long as I have the approval of my doctor, trainer, and husband I am going to exercise. Rain or shine, good mood or bad mood, low or high motivation, and fat days or skinny days I am going to exercise. Especially when challenged with continued illnesses that are likely to occur I maintain a commitment to exercise. I maintain a commitment to honor God with my body through Exercise. I knew when I began this journey that it would be long and trying but I also knew and hold on to the confidence that as a Christ follower I can trust in an ever loving and faithful God to continue to guide and inspire me along the way!

In Christ Alone

In Christ Alone

Words & Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

In Christ Alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! – who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied –
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine –
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!

CCLI Song # 3350395, © 2001 Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing)

Here is Natalie Grant's remake of this classic hymn so you can hear it too!


This hymn has such profound value and meaning to me as a Christ follower particularly as I walk through this journey of change. I believe that all human beings are separated from God through a nature we are born with that willfully and deliberately violates  the holiness of God (Romans 3:23). I believe that the son of God, Jesus Christ, came to earth through a virgin birth, lived a holy and flawless life, died a brutal death on a cross, and three days later rose from the dead (Matthew 1: 20-21, John 3:16, Acts 2:24). God made this sacrifice so that we may be reconnected to him and no longer separated by sin (John 3:17-18). I have in my life sought out satisfaction, fulfillment, and peace through relationships, through money, through alcohol, through trying to be perfect in my own power, and through food. In my life none of those things compared to having a personal intimate relationship with a living God. I don’t think my life is all that different from yours is it? I believe deep down in the core of our being we are ALL searching for the hope, love, and peace mentioned in this beautiful hymn.

Yet having received Christ as my personal savior and walking through this life in relationship with Him I find that some of the words ring heavy in my heart. As the writer states…

And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine –
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

I know in my head that as I have confessed my sins to Christ and have been forgiven I too am walking in this victory. I know this in my head but if I’m being honest with myself and you there are days that my feelings don’t match up with this reality. There are days that the curse of sin seems to be drawing me over and over again to that kitchen, or restaurant, or dessert. There are days that I feel very far away from this truth. The reality is that the word of God is clear and true no matter how my feelings waver. When my feelings begin to dominate my actions it is time for me to get those feelings in check! I am forgiven and happily reminded as I read my Bible or sing a song like this that the truth of God’s word has and will time and time again reset my wondering feelings. I don’t know about you but I need reminders like that from time and time again.

Celebrate this last part with me will you?

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!

I love to read that over and over again and let it sink into my heart and mind. As I walk through this journey to getting healthy I have hope that there is NO power that will keep me from the will of God. It is not my cravings, my failures, my defeats, my obesity, my laziness, my perfection, my schemes, or my strength that I have to depend on. I can depend on a loving and living God who holds my life in the palm of His hand. I am certain that he cares so much for me and you that he has every hair on our head counted (Matthew 10:29-31). He knows & provides every breath we will ever take. He commands my past, present, & future and nothing can separate me from him! I am encouraged, strengthened, and invigorated by this truth! So on this journey through life I can scream to the mountain tops that Here In The Power of Christ I’ll Stand!

Are you able to scream that too? Do you have questions or trouble with anything I wrote?  I would love to hear from you so please comment below or if you’d like to be more private please email me at mrsadrianpina@yahoo.com.

Dear Future Self.....

I was watching an episode of a popular sitcom “How I Met Your Mother” and in the episode the single guy would write a letter to himself after a breakup with a girl. He did this so that in times of future desperation & loneliness when his “future” self would be tempted to get back together with the girl he would pull out the letter he wrote post break up. This letter of course was filled with all kinds of humorous advise, feedback about the relationship, and reminders of why he broke up with the girl in the first place. He would always title & begin the letter “Dear Future (and then fill in his name).  This gave me a great idea for a letter I want to write me my future healthy, fit, and trim self.

I have heard so many stories of people who have worked very hard to get healthy through disciplined eating, vigorous exercise, and plenty of water & sleep. Then after they reach their goals they become comfortable and casual about the disciplines that were such a huge part of their lives. Lysa TerKeurst has a chapter in her book “Made to Crave” titled “The Curse of the Skinny Jeans”. In this chapter she details and unspoken expectation she had that arriving at her goal weight would bring with it a perfect life free of troubles, trials, and temptations.  I myself have shared with you that I have fallen into a cycle in the past where I have lost 40, 50, even 60 lbs and then got caught up in the moment and “fell off the wagon” as they say. I found that even after such an accomplishment “life” still happened. Temptations were around every corner along with the stress that led me to indulge each and every time.

I have hope that this time is going to be different for a multitude of reasons…..just in case I thought it would be fun to write my future self a letter filled with the truth about what those indulgences lead to. So here is goes!

Dear Future Jen,

I am SO proud of you for reaching your goal and learning to honor God with your body. I know that you have gone through so many ups and downs throughout this journey and you have learned a lot. It must feel so good to see that number on the scale and fit into those clothes that you worked so hard to achieve. I want you to cherish every moment of this success with the Lord and fully embrace the new identity that you have developed.

In this glorious historical moment in your life please remember these few things. Please remember that this is one step in a lifelong process. I know you may fall under the momentary illusion that you have “arrived”, don’t fall under that spell. You MUST embrace this process the rest of your life and never under estimate the power that this addiction had, has, and will have over you. Continue to be committed to accountability, to faithfully following a healthy food plan, and making choices with your body that honor the Lord.

For years of your life you built habits to run to food during times of stress and anxiety. You fell into the pattern of making food a bigger priority than God, than your husband, and your family. You turned holidays and special occasions into feasts of gluttony and did not honor the true meaning of the occasion. Remember the shame and despair you felt when buying clothes a size bigger, again and again. Think back to those uncomfortable moments in tight airplane seats, walking up flights of steps, and squeezing into small spaces filled with humiliation and regret. Ponder the effects your weight had on your breathing, the horror of pneumonia over and over each year, chronic bronchitis, swollen feet and hands, and not even being able to take your wedding rings off to clean them. Running to food, over indulgence, being out of balance and unhealthy only caused your suffering and pain.

I pray even now for you Future Jen, I pray and ask God to “fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And I pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.” (Colossians 1:9-12)

With much love & hope for the future! Your future is bright!
Past Jen

Whew! I don't know about you but that totally made me cry which I did't expect. Have you ever thought of writing a letter to your future self? Would you have the courage to write and share it? I think I could have gone on and on with this exercise, I could write to my future "wife" self, or my future "counselor" self, or even my future "mom" self by God's grace. I wonder what you would say to yourself? What topic you would choose to address? I'd love to hear your letter if you'd like to share it!